It seems like I hit a wall in communication or disclosure where I can’t seem to go any further.?

It seems like I hit a wall in communication or disclosure where I can’t seem to go any further in finding similarities, some part of myself that I still feel uncomfortable sharing or trusting with ‘the public’ that I feel adamant for some personal reason that I must keep to myself, like my organic thought process. ‘For your eyes only.’ It’s not that I have anything to hide, but then I don’t go around naked. Do you find this as well and does it keep your relationships from deepening further like a roadblock? Consequently, I don’t get many devotees for lack of a better word for friends who call on you because they truly find your company scintillating..but then, I have reluctance to own any emotion other than happiness (loneliness for example which is just as valid an emotion as happiness but I wouldn’t share it as quickly as I would happiness). Look at media advertisements: K-Mart, McDonald’s plastic cheerfulness making it unacceptable anything that’s not bright yellow and sunny.

Did something awful happen in your childhood.Why do you feel you’re losing your ability to communicate? I feel you did a pretty good job here by writing how you are presently feeling. Maybe when you feel you can’t verbally communicate with someone you should write it down.You sound kind of poetic.

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